Inscriptions on Jewish Tombstones After World War II
Based on the inscription on Lili Richman's tomb, the two most important things to remember Lili by are her name and the fact that she was a Holocaust Survivor. Not only does it say on her tombstone that she is a Holocaust Survivor (ocalona z holocaustu), but the Star of David above her name has the hebrew abbreviation for "here lies" followed by the words "Holocaust Survivor." With the exception of her name, there is no mention of her gender. Granted, she died in 2008, many decades after World War II, but even so it is clear that what matter wasn't her role as a wife, daughter or virtuous women - what mattered is that she was Jewish, she was Polish, and she survived the Holocaust.
Though commissioned in 2008, Pawel's tombstone is more like the tombstones erected prior to World War II. It mentions his name, his rank in the Polish army, his job in the Union, and his role as a father, husband and grandfather. Unfortunately, I'm not familiar enough with Hebrew to translate an inscription without the vowels included and so I was unable to read the epitaph in Hebrew. It's possible that it differs from the Polish inscription and gives more information. Other than the Hebrew inscription, which is not immediately noticeable as it is on the ground, the only evidence of him being Jewish is the Star of David at the top of his tombstone.
Lili Richman's gravestone indicates that the gender is no longer as important to the loved one's family in the wake of the Holocaust, however she also died in the United States and likely rasied her family there. Though she was ultimately buried in Jewish Cemetery in Warsaw, her time in the United States clearly had an impact on her family's perception of gender, and its importance in comparison to the fact that she was a Holocaust Survivor. This suggests that the trauma of the Holocaust likely had an impact not only on her life, but on the lives of her children, as it had a major impact on how they chose to remember her.
In contrast, Pawel Wildstein probably remained in Poland given his role in the army and in the Union. His family chose to remember him by his role in society and in his family. It's possible that he's named as a Holocaust Survivor in the Hebrew Inscription, but in post-War Poland there are very few Jews left and therefore very few people would be able to read the Hebrew Inscription. Since he remained in Soviet-occupied Poland, which frowned upon religion and de-emphasized the impact of World War II on the Jewish community, it is possible didn't consider his status as a Holocaust Survivor to be worth remembering.